I want to feel as free from my body
as porn stars feel when they fuck:
a performance automatic,
a survival tactic.
God sticking the invisible hand
down the pants
of the reproductive machines,
streaming commodity bodies and sex
sells fetish and fantasy:
a propaganda regime
for Freud’s psychoanalytic fever dreams.
I’m a narcissist,
drowning in my body
to remind myself I exist.
I’m an echo,
shouting after my body
when it won’t let me go.
Go blank in the eyes transcendent,
forcing sounds of satisfaction,
faking, presencing, substanceless,
repeat, repeat reactions;
a desiring-machine’s satisfaction,
staring blankly into the eyes of Being.
An escape artist so inconsequential –
all her audience,
a practice mirror,
like young dancers
partnered with all of their faults.
the Romantics had the answers
’till the art in nature died.
‘Till this body was so inscribed:
the mass grave of signifiers
with no transcendental signified.
Truth bona fide,
I am infinity inside –
the violence of metaphysics
met with the absent ‘I’;
an escape artist so inconsequential
he’s at his front door again,
forgot his keys,
The category of the subject,
‘I’ am a body have a body
‘I’, tattooed, screwed up,
a smoker in slow motion suicide:
Death, the impossible possibility of,
‘I’, the homeless dwelling,
somebody silhouetted outside by the porchlight, ‘I’.
Such lovely shutters and large windows
and, oh – they repainted the front door.
Want to feel as free from my body
as the lucky who get shot in wars.
Tomb of the unknown soldier,
the most selfless bag of bones.
buying back the burial home.
Here’s to us when we’re alone,
the life and the death,
the nothing that’s left.
Here’s to eyes that never age
and hands that know how to touch.
Dead labour goes to the highest bidder,
his organs were harvested but he’s no quitter.
Body already expropriated private property,
death the only ‘I’ myself that belongs to me.
Philosophy causes cancer:
I spread the more I fall apart;
truth kills, so love’s the answer.
Want to feel as free from my body as Eucharist,
the animal cannibal ‘I’,
a feast for the eyes of the narcissist,
Homo homini lupus, raw meat for the dogs,
an escape artist like Abraham’s only son
consumed for sons of gods.